Sunday, April 29, 2007

Best Living Will Ever Written


I've adapted this living will from an email I received today from a friend -

I, JAYV, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Chocolate
Vodka Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Chocolate
Mexican food
Chocolate
Artichoke
Chocolate
Asparagus
Chocolate
Ice cream
Cup of Darjeeling tea
Chocolate
Chocolate
Chocolate

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day.

2 comments:

  1. One of the things I like about you, Jay, is that there are very few people who really understand that there is no life without Darjeeling. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Charity, yes indeed. Every morning I make a pot o' tea.

    ReplyDelete

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