LABEL: UNINTENTIONAL HUMOUR

For your immediate reflection, from the Guardian - "Is the recession David Bowie's fault?":- Who is to blame for the recession? Forget all that stuff about out-of-control bankers, negligent governments and sleepwalking regulators; instead, according to the BBC's Evan Davis, it's time to point the finger at David Bowie - a pioneer not only of experimental rock music and what used to be called "gender bending", but exactly the kind of financial sophistry that got us in this mess.

In yesterday's Daily Mirror, Davis laid out his theory as follows. In 1997, Bowie needed millions of pounds to buy back the rights to his songs from a previous manager. With the help of a financier named David Pullman, he thus created the so-called "Bowie Bond", through which investors would receive a share of the royalties from 287 Bowie songs over the next 10 years (£55m worth of them were sold to the Prudential Insurance Company).

DUTCH MEDIA STAR 'GROUNDED' FOR 90 DAYS AND 90 NIGHTS

DutchNews.nl:- Vicar's son and leading presentor on evangelical tv station EO, Arie Boomsma, has been suspended from work for three months for appearing scantily dressed in a magazine, reports ANP news service.

The photos are in a yet-to-be-published edition of the women's glossy Linda.

'This was a solo action by Arie and is damaging for the mission of the EO. We want the focus to be on the inner person in shows such as '40 Dagen Zonder Seks (40 Days Without Sex)' which Arie presents,' EO director Arjan Lock is reported as saying.

Boomsma is said to be sorry for his action.

Arie's grounding was even announced on his website and discussed on his blog.

Telegraaf features the photos - "Arie Boomsma bijna in adamskostuum": "Almost in 'Adam's costume'".

Telegraaf also reports today that Arie has been chosen as 1 of 4 Dutch "trendsetters" by jurors for TrendWatcher Of The Year (TWOTY) Award, adding that he'll still have to contemplate his "sins" at home (Dutch).

Lent is 40 days and 4o nights, but it's a bit OTT for him to be "grounded" for 90 days and nights, no? EO's being paternalistic, treating a man in his 30s as if he were a pre-teen kid! This Dutch Calvinist aversion to the human body is sick! Not only is the brouhaha ridiculous, but it's also hypocritical. Arie is the moderator of another EO television show ontopic where youth with completely different backgrounds debate current trends and news. In January, the topic was
Naakt in videoclips moet verboden worden! (Being naked on video clips should be prohibited). I know, I know, pure sensationalist titilation for the viewers, even on an 'evangelical' network. Here's the segment (in Dutch) of the program.

¡AY, CARAMBA!

Royal jaws dropped when celebrity chef Mario Batali swore in his remarks before 400 guests at a gala dinner attended by the King and Queen of Spain, in Miami's South Beach:- "All you weasel f--- wads in the back corners, can I have 10 seconds of your time?" Batali said into the microphone, impatient that the crowd wasn't quieting quickly enough for his introduction of chef José Andrés, culinary chair of the Biltmore Hotel gala.

Jaws dropped in a glittering crowd that included Florida Gov. Charlie Crist and wife, U.S. Sen. Mel Martinez, the U.S. ambassador to Spain and Julio Iglesias. Gloria Estefan, enjoying the evening with husband, Emilio, chortled.

Batali, wearing pants rather than shorts for once, went on with his introduction of Andrés, whom he called his ''favorite chef in the world,'' noting that Andrés' Los Angeles restaurant, The Bazaar, had just received four stars from the Los Angeles Times.

"The most motherf------ stars of any Spanish restaurant in the U.S.," Batali said. Those who were seated near the royal couple said the queen blanched.

The Republican governor didn't follow royal protocol, either. At the dinner, he kept leaving his seat next to Queen Sofia to greet friends at other tables - as one would at any wedding reception! - and left the event before the royal couple.

Juan Carlos and Sofia are on a visit to the US this week. They took part in the acts commemorating the foundation of Pensacola, Florida, 450 years ago.

Anyway, the first Spanish (and European) town founded in the present territory of the US was St. Augustine, also in Florida, founded in 1565. Florida was a Spanish territory from the 16th century to the 19th century (except 20 years under British rule). It was sold to the US in 1819.

The president, away in Canada perfecting NAFTA relations, also snubbed the king and queen. However, Obama phoned the King of Spain to tell him that he was sorry he would miss the royal visit to the US.

THE DAYS OF TWO-PLY ARE OVER

ASSOCIATED PRESS:-- Inmates at the Des Moines County jail in Burlington may have to begin paying for toilet paper. The county is facing a more than $1.7 million deficit in this year's budget and the Board of Supervisors gave department heads the option of cutting costs or facing the possibility of unpaid furloughs or layoffs.

THE STEIN/UVM BROUHAHA

C'mon, this hockey puck has been kicked around the rink enough. We all knew that Ben Stein is a fuckwit, but UVM President Dan Fogel embarrassed himself even more in his attempt at damage control.

PRINCE HARRY, AGAIN

In a British army recruitment video made three years ago, in additon to showing his racism, Mr Wales also admits his pubes are ginger.

I AM THE GREAT PRETENDER

The Wall Street Journal has a silly interview - obviously for American consumption - with the Orléanist pretender to the French throne, Prince Jean, the Dauphin de France and Duc de Vendôme. This guy's not even on the throne, yet he has a staff of 30 to help him carry out "royal engagements." He sent a birthday greeting to the Prince of Wales, but was aghast that he received only a cursory reply from Charles' secretary. Noblesse oblige, not.

Prince Jean hopes hard work will help re-establish his family's legitimacy and allow him to serve France and its people. "I love our cathedrals, I love our wines," he explains. "And I love our peasants."

WHICH WAY TO MECCA, JAKE?

The Burlington intifada against Burton Snowboards continues.

In Sydney an Australian artist has designed a line of 30 Islamic surfboards to bridge the cultural and religious divide in that country. Burton could take the lead in America and develop similar designs for snowboards. Now wouldn't that just please all those overparenting moms & dads in Burlington - progressive diversity-lovin' Al-Jazeera watching boarders - who were pissed off mightily about the Playboy bunnies? Redemption for bad-neighbor Burton, finally?! But wait, the Defenders Council of Vermont and zionists in South Burlington would have a field day.

CONDOLEEZZA IN CONCERT

At Buck House, for the Queen. Go figure.

Which makes me wonder: What talents does the new SoS-elect have? During the presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton was caught in front of an open microphone, singing the national anthem totally off key. Maybe she'll take up the triangle.

IT'S A MATTER OF SIZE

Via Mad Priest:

TODAY'S BIG STORY

From THE LOCAL (Sweden):

Swedish men come second only to the French in a study of the state of European members, a new study has shown.

A comparative study of more than ten thousand men in 25 EU countries sees the well-hung Swedes pull up just short of their counterparts in the land of the baguette and the coq gaulois.

According to the study, an erect French penis stretches to an average of 15.48 centimetres (6.09 in). The average Swedish member trails the leader by a short head, crossing the finishing line at 15.36 centimetres. At the other end of the spectrum, men in Greece - the linguistic home of the phallus - get the short end of the stick, measuring in at just 12.18 centimetres.

The head of the Institute of Condom Consultancy, Jan Vinzenz Krause, claimed French letters really were something to write home about.

"We observed during a two month test that men in France use a significantly higher number of large condoms than men in Greece," he said in a statement.

Krause added that it was vital for men to wear condoms that best suited their size requirements.

"It is the same as the fact that we have different sized feet and wear shoes that fit us."